hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
