We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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