dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
