Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
