Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
