Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
