its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
