We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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