dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
