i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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