Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
