I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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