he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
