We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
