high people should be assigned attendants
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
