I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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