I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
