would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
