Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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