I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
