I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
