you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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