Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
