even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
