i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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