Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
