You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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