Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My breasts were aching with rage.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
