I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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