Who did Billy Mays play for?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
