My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
...so i touched it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
