thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just high enough for therapy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
