i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she told me i tasted like america
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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