I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
