Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
