She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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