i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
