i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Someone came in the potted fern
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
