Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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