sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
