I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
