Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
