Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
