So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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