I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
