My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
