she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
