Kiss
Puke
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
