Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
