Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
